Monday, February 18, 2008

Whacky, Zaney, Life Sustaining Friendship!!

Oh! There is just nothing like it! That connection. That person who gets you. That laughter generated by just a look. Silly days spent discussing dreams, planning adventures and sealing souls.
Your BFF.... she's the one you tell your secrets to. The one who knows your secret crush and your real jeans size. Unincumbered by life's impending responsibilities there is no other time when friendship can be so purely celebrated as it can be in middle and high school!
I was just found last night by a friend from my high school years! I just LOVE being found! In reconnecting with this friend I am reminded of just how precious friendship is. It is such a gift!

I do believe that God brings people into our lives at different times for different reasons. Not all of them are meant to stick around forever. Some are meant to be there to help you through something or perhaps you are meant to help them through something. The lessons learned from these people far outweigh the need for them to be kindred spirits for life. I see them as traveling angels, in and out of my life. Although these people are definitely missed, I'm left with feelings of thankfulness not sadness when I think of these people and the role they played.
Being a military wife, it has definitely been challenging in the friendship department! Having to uproot your life every few years as we've done over the past decade can leave one exhausted emotionally. Going to a new town and walking into social situations where friendships are already formed and roots are laid firm, is very intimidating. To find a place where you can fit in and start planting your own seeds can take alot of energy and personal investment.
When we move to a new place, it is always such a time of fear for me. Fear over whether or not I will connect with other women and form close, supportive friendships.
When I was younger, this was far easier because my little children were much more under my control and my schedule was their schedule. Flurries of activities always follow young mothers around and it seemed as if my lifestyle was designed for friend making opportunities. I met other young mothers easily and all of our kids would play together well. But, now at this point in my life, my kids all have their own interests and activities and in supporting those interests and activities my time is no longer my own. Getting "out there" to mom's groups, the gym, Bible study groups or things like that are much harder now. I have to be way more creative and really push myself to be in friend making situations. I have met some great friends over the past decade by doing just that, so I know it pays off.

I wish I was the kind of girl that has four or five friends from middle school still on speed dial! I have always admired those people. As much as I love to converse, I have to admit, I'm a terrible long distance friend when it comes to initiating contact. I'm blaming this more on procrastination and poor time management than lack of thought. The world wide web has definitely made it easier to stay in touch!
One thing I like to plug into in any new place we move to is Girl's night out. If I have to be the initiator, I will. This was first introduced to me as a regular thing by my friend Linda in California. If you don't do this with your girlfriends, you should! Just pick a night and go out to eat together, watch a movie, or gather at one of your houses and chat and giggle into the night! These nights have been the backdrop for some of my fondest friendship memories!
With as rocky and challenging as the road has been for me, I'm so thankful for all of my friends both past and present. Your role in my life, whether traveling angel or kindred spirit has been purposed by God for a reason and has helped to form me into the person I am today.
And for those of you in the Everett, Washington area.....I don't know who you are yet, but I'm praying for you. I know that God is already preparing some strong, Christian women for me to intertwine my life with for a season and I can't wait to meet you!


Kelly @ Love Well said...

Oh, I love those pictures! They perfectly capture a BFF. (And that's your daughter, right? With her real-life BFF, I'm guessing?)

Becca said...

Yup! That is my daughter Madison (the blonde) and her real life BFF Erin. :) Such fun girls!!

Beki - TheRustedChain said...

That's such a great attitude!
The pictures are great too.

Yes, true friendships are priceless!

Eckmama said...

AWESOME pictures! I love those! And I can relate to your post once again, although from a different perspective. My dad was in the military--he retired the same year I graduated from high school--so I grew up moving every few years, starting fresh in new towns/schools, etc. Tough for everyone, but it really builds character! haha! My sisters and I still make friends VERY easily. :) Excellent idea to pray for your new friends-to-be.

Becca said...

It is so nice to hear it from the other perspective. I often worry about my kids and how they will handle the moves, but they've always come through them fine and so far have had great experiences with our different duty stations.
Funny, Bren will graduate from high school the same year David retires if we stay in for 30 years!
Thanks for the comment!

jonahbonah said...

Those pictures are SO fun! She's going to have those memories FOREVER! You have such talent Becca!

TheCatLord said...

awwww becca! this post made me cry!!
i am sorry i am a bad long distance friend. i miss you and linda so very much, things are really not the same here without the two of you. i miss our trips to the mall, the cheescake factory, the coffee bean, and just hanging out at each other's houses. those were truly good times.