I mean huge!
No one tells you how to do it.
Those who have been there can help you prepare
by telling you their stories,
but they can't tell you how.
I think it's because
they don't really know how they got through it themselves.
I know how to protect and nurture a newborn.
I know how to guard a two year old from his own self.
I know how to teach a child the morals and values of our faith.
I even know how to enjoy the tween and middle teen years.
but I do not know how to confidently watch an 18 year old
run head strong into obvious mistakes,
without trying to cushion his fall.
I am learning though.
I am becoming increasingly aware that
to learn and grow, sometimes you have to
fall flat on your face.
Alot of us came to the places we are today
because we got up from that fall
wiser and more aware of how to survive in this world.
watching it is easily the hardest thing I have ever done.
It's the letting him fall part that I find so difficult.
He's a great kid with awesome potential,
and I know that his stubborness is going to serve him well someday
if he learns to channel it in the right direction.
I know in my heart of hearts that he's going to be ok.
It's just going to be quite a ride getting there!
This clip from Finding Nemo has a nice little lesson in it for me.
Right now my "squirt" is struggling outside of the current.
I want to go grab him by the hand and pull him back to safety.
But, Crush is confident that his little guy will find his way back.
He's sure that all of the things Squirt has learned
up until now will kick in and Squirt will
know how to get back into the current on his own.
I think that the confidence that Crush has empowers Squirt.
Squirt's excitement and joy at conquering something difficult
would never have happend if Crush had gone to rescue him.
The joy is in the struggle!
So, at this stage in my life,
I am trying to be less like Marlin and more like Crush!
I can't wait for the day my struggling swimmer
bursts out of the deep and into the current
shouting, "Did you see that?! Did you see what I did?!"
I'm sure his dad and I will say what we already know about him
"You so totally rock, dude!!"
Because he does.