All I can say is wow!
If I ever had a doubt that
God speaks very specifically
and directly to my situation,
I can lay them all to rest now.
I took Zach to work this morning
because he asked me to.
We drove in silence all the way there.
Once he exited the van,
I turned the radio to an AM talk station
that I haven't listened to in a while.
The first sentence I heard was
"Can you speak to the mom out there
who is dealing with the pain of watching
a child make bad choices."
Instant tears of pure gratitude
for the reassurance that God was
invested in the deepest parts of my life
began flowing down my face.
The program was tailored to my situation
so much so that one conversation
was about how to handle the guilt
that the enemy heaps on moms
whose children don't walk the
straight and narrow.
They addressed each area of my life.
Everything that I have been rehashing
over the last few days....
working full time during Zach's first year of life,
attempting homeschooling and failing,
moving away from family support,
and allowing anger and hurtful words
to rule seasons of my life.
The enemy has thrown each of these darts
at me over the past two days,
but God spoke truth to me today
through my Toyota Sienna stock radio!
The woman said that she had to learn
to take every thought captive.
To bring it down and wash it with the truth of God!
She said that she'd be doing the dishes and
a condeming thought would enter her mind
and she would have to stop right then
and quote truth.
She said that in the middle of her
hardest struggles with her children,
She wrote these words in the margin of her Bible
in the book of Psalms,
"Either I believe you are sovereign
or I'm going to go insane."
So if you were driving around town this morning
and you saw a woman weeping at the wheel
of a blue mini-van,
it was just her expression of complete and utter surrender
to her sovereign God
who was wrapping his arms around her
and holding her tightly!!