Friday, March 12, 2010

God speaks through my Toyota

All I can say is wow!
If I ever had a doubt that
God speaks very specifically
and directly to my situation,
I can lay them all to rest now.
I took Zach to work this morning
because he asked me to.
We drove in silence all the way there.
Once he exited the van,
I turned the radio to an AM talk station
that I haven't listened to in a while.
The first sentence I heard was
"Can you speak to the mom out there
who is dealing with the pain of watching
a child make bad choices."
Instant tears of pure gratitude
for the reassurance that God was
invested in the deepest parts of my life
began flowing down my face.
The program was tailored to my situation
so much so that one conversation
was about how to handle the guilt
that the enemy heaps on moms
whose children don't walk the
straight and narrow.
They addressed each area of my life.
Each one!!
Everything that I have been rehashing
over the last few days....
working full time during Zach's first year of life,
attempting homeschooling and failing,
moving away from family support,
and allowing anger and hurtful words
to rule seasons of my life.
The enemy has thrown each of these darts
at me over the past two days,
but God spoke truth to me today
through my Toyota Sienna stock radio!
The woman said that she had to learn
to take every thought captive.
To bring it down and wash it with the truth of God!
She said that she'd be doing the dishes and
a condeming thought would enter her mind
and she would have to stop right then
and quote truth.
She said that in the middle of her
hardest struggles with her children,
She wrote these words in the margin of her Bible
in the book of Psalms,
"Either I believe you are sovereign
or I'm going to go insane."
So if you were driving around town this morning
and you saw a woman weeping at the wheel
of a blue mini-van,
don't worry....
it was just her expression of complete and utter surrender
to her sovereign God
who was wrapping his arms around her
and holding her tightly!!


Christy said...

I have followed your blog for some time now, because I love your pictures, and I want you to know that I am feeling your pain. We too struggle with our oldest child making the wrong choices in his life. You are right to trust in God and recognize the the source of your nagging doubts. I believe that God chastises us to help us learn and grow, not to make us doubt ourselves, and yet we do it so often. I will be praying for you and your son.

Unknown said...

There may be days when you just can't preach truth to yourself, hard as you try. Call a friend who will boldly proclaim truth to you, and help you get refocused.

Daughter of The King said...

I have been here,sister...praying God's comfort and wisdom as you walk this road. This so very hard to understand as a Mom...just remember God loves Zach even more than you ever could. Remembering this helped me heal and get through this w/Erik. Now we are having stuggles with our youngest son. Boundaries are hard to accept at this age, but their heart knows the truth, hold on to that! Wish I was there to give you a hug from one Mother to another.