Monday, January 25, 2010

More Like Crush

Watching your children turn into adults takes a huge amount of faith.

I mean huge!

No one tells you how to do it.

Those who have been there can help you prepare

by telling you their stories,

but they can't tell you how.

I think it's because

they don't really know how they got through it themselves.

I know how to protect and nurture a newborn.

I know how to guard a two year old from his own self.

I know how to teach a child the morals and values of our faith.

I even know how to enjoy the tween and middle teen years.

but I do not know how to confidently watch an 18 year old

run head strong into obvious mistakes,

without trying to cushion his fall.

I am learning though.

I am becoming increasingly aware that

to learn and grow, sometimes you have to

fall flat on your face.

Alot of us came to the places we are today

because we got up from that fall

wiser and more aware of how to survive in this world.

But still.....

watching it is easily the hardest thing I have ever done.

It's the letting him fall part that I find so difficult.

He's a great kid with awesome potential,

and I know that his stubborness is going to serve him well someday

if he learns to channel it in the right direction.

I know in my heart of hearts that he's going to be ok.

It's just going to be quite a ride getting there!

This clip from Finding Nemo has a nice little lesson in it for me.

Right now my "squirt" is struggling outside of the current.

Like Marlin,

I want to go grab him by the hand and pull him back to safety.

But, Crush is confident that his little guy will find his way back.

He's sure that all of the things Squirt has learned

up until now will kick in and Squirt will

know how to get back into the current on his own.

I think that the confidence that Crush has empowers Squirt.

Squirt's excitement and joy at conquering something difficult

would never have happend if Crush had gone to rescue him.

The joy is in the struggle!

So, at this stage in my life,

I am trying to be less like Marlin and more like Crush!

I can't wait for the day my struggling swimmer

bursts out of the deep and into the current

shouting, "Did you see that?! Did you see what I did?!"

I'm sure his dad and I will say what we already know about him

"You so totally rock, dude!!"

Because he does.


Tammy K said...

I feel your pain with this. My almost 17yo son is making some decisions that I wish he wouldn't but he is going to have to learn on his own. I hate to see his heart broken but sometimes that's what it takes. What do I know anyway? Nothing. I was never a teen and I surely never did anything against the wishes of my parents.

Jumpin Jilli Bean Baby said...

So wise Becca....Those too are the years the frighten me the most. Thank you for your words.....I hope and pray that I will be as strong as you when we get to that stage......what a blessing you are to your family! :)

Jamie :)

Laura said...

A finding nemo reference and the perfect one at that!. Dude it feels like forever since we caught up but you know I am always here!.

You made it this far your little squirt is going to be just fine, and hey you don't have to be fully crush, you can still hang on to that tiny fin of marlin. (yes I know tiny fin is nemo...just trying to keep up the ref LoL)

Swim on little dude, swim on. Were all proud of ya squirt.

Jenn~ said...

Yup...I am pretty much doing the same thing with my teen....holding on but trying not to hold him back. It is such a hard line to walk...and especially at that age.

You've given him amazing guidance and tools to work with....and just being there for when he needs it....cause he is going to need it again for sure :)

loves....and I adore your blog :)

flamom23boys said...

Awesome reference, Becca. Opened my eyes a little, with the reminder that we can't rescue them all the time. What if he's not 17-18? What if he's only 11? I thought I was still able to teach him at this age, but he's definitely got a mind of his own. Ugh!
Feeling you, though! It's all about those choices they make and what choices they make when the first one fails that make you worry. Keeping ya in my prayers!

Tammy (Mom to this crazy bunch) said...

Oh, Becca... I so needed to read this today... in this very moment! Thanks!