Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Hey mom, did ya see that?

So we've been going to the gym alot lately.
I really love it
and having David do it with me
makes it much more enjoyable.
When one or both of the boys go with us
the workout usually ends with a raquetball game.
On this day it was just David and Michael playing.
I have absolutely no desire to go into that room
and subject myself to a viscious game of dodge the
bouncing blue bruise making bullet ball,
so I watch from a bench in the hallway.
As I sat there, I noticed something.
After every single hit Michael made
he looked back at me and smiled.
Every single one!
And sometimes he'd glance over at me
with a sheepish look on his face
when he missed one.
I let my mind wander to when he was three years old.
"Watch this mom!" he'd yell from the other end of the pool.
He'd get a running start and do a cannon ball right into the deep end.
He was such an adventurous little guy
and I loved watching him accomplish all of his
rambunctious feats.
But, I have to admit,
that "Mom, watch this!" over and over again
during our visits to the pool or park
got pretty tiresome.
I was a busy mom with three little ones to look after
and we usually went to the pool or park with friends
so there was conversation going on.
Lot's of times I'd do the fake watching thing
that all moms do.
He'd shout "Watch this!"
I'd say, OK!"
but quickly go back to what I was doing
when his attention was off of me
and when I heard him resurface,
I'd say, "Great job!"
I don't think I realized then how precious
it was that my kids wanted so badly for me to be in awe of them.
Don't get me wrong,
I was a great mom who loved to have fun with them.
I'd roll on the grass with them,
toss balls, climb trees,
ride bikes, take walks
and build living room tents with them.
I cherished them as much as I knew how,
but I don't know if I really grasped the fleeting preciousness
of it all.
In those days of utter exhaustion sprinkled with
delightful exuberance,
did I really grab hold of all of the ordinary moments?
Did they know how much I enjoyed them
even on the fake watching days?
I sure hope so!
Now that my little dare devil boy is older
there are far fewer
"Hey mom, watch this!" moments.
They do still occur, but now there are more
"Mom I wish you could have been there to see it"
moments, because the natural flow of life
limits our time together.
Funny how something that got to be so annoying
is one of the things that I miss the most
about being a young mom with
three little ones under foot.
So, needless to say,
I was delighted to see that
the little boy in Michael will always want
mom to "watch this".
He still cares what I think about his accomplishments
and failures.
He still looks for the smile on my face
and the shouts of "That was awesome"
when he does something great.
And you know what?
I didn't take my eyes off of him for a minute
during that whole raquetball game!


Mari said...

I literally sat and cried after I read your Love is... post and was going to comment, but was simply out of words to do so. Now I read this and you've done it again! Your words move me Becca.

Stefan DesRosiers said...

If its any consolation, no one knows until its too late. I continuously sit in airports and on airplanes and try and avoid tearing up thinking about how much of my childrens lives I have missed... then I get home and fall back into the same pattern.

My parents told me, time and again, enjoy them while they are young, but we rarely listen to our parents now do we... If we did, society would be entirely different, there would be no one working overtime and weekends thats for sure... Our childrens lives are too valuable to waste by being at work... but we keep doing it..

Looking back is a specialty of humanity, wishful thinking and 20/20 hindsight are a given. Look to today, look to tomorrow, and fix now what you wish you could have done differently then. Only then will you be able to look back and be happy with what you see.

Cristie :) said...

He was probably looking back to see if you were STILL snapping the camera!! LOL No really...I won't lie...I'm crying like a big fat baby! As always...thanks for sharing. It's always a reminder of reality in my own life...I'll try harder to actually watch what they're doing and not do the "Momma thing"! :)