American Idol Top 10!!

Well, it's that time of year again!!

I'm excited to start blogging about

this season's top 10!

Tonight's theme: R&B

Mentor: Usher

( I can't hear that Usher song that they opened with

without thinking of Hitch and

wanting to do that crazy dance

no matter what Will Smith tells me I should be doing!)

First up: Siobhan

song: Through The Fire

I'm glad Usher gave her wardrobe advice.

Judging from what she practiced in

I bet he was afraid that she would

go full on Molly Ringwald from

Pretty in Pink

when she performed tonight.

His advice toned her down a bit,

but unfortunately could not help

her vocals tonight.

She's soooo not R&B

even with Missy Elliot boots on!

Randy is right....

this song was well within her range

and she should have slayed it,

but her efforts tonight were

awkward and screechy.

But we did get that token

(albeit annoying)

high note at the end.

Yay.

*

Next up: Casey

Song: Hold On, I'm Comin'

Casey goes back to his blues roots tonight

and Killed it!!!!

I loved his vocals and

his shiny red guitar.

I do think he's still a little stiff

on stage,

but I'm guessing that he'll

loosen up more as the season

goes on.

*

Next up: Mike (AKA: Big Mike)

Song: Ready For Love

I thought Mike sang this song

really well tonight,

but it was a little sleepy for me

at the beginning.

He definitely got better toward the

second half of the song though.

Everytime they show his wife

on camera, all I can think about is,

"Where is that baby girl, and how do you

look so put together?"

If I had to be on camera

that soon after giving birth,

and especially with my first baby,

while my husband was away

for long days of rehersals,

ya'll would be lucky

not to see me in my nursing gown

with last nights make-up still

caked under my tired eyes!!

No smiling, no clapping,

just sleep deprived rants about

swollen breasts and 2 am feedings,

I don't care what song you are singing to me!

Bonus points for pulling it together

for national television, Mike's wife!

*

Next up: DiDi

Song: What Becomes Of The Broken Hearted

She is my dsughter Madison's favorite girl

this season.

I'm really not happy with this performance

which is a shame because

I really do like her voice.

She's lost herself I think and

I hope she finds that vibe she had

at the beginning

because I would hate to see

her go so soon.

I have to admit

that I was holding my breath

during her whole performance

because I was afraid she was

going to burst into tears.

Randy is right again...

this was momentless.

And boo for Ryan trying

to draw out raw emotion from her tonight.

Doesn't he know that it is very rare

for girls to "cry pretty"

and the last thing you want on national television

is you standing there with a contorted face

and a mixture of snot and tears

running down your face!

He just would not let that go

would he?!

*

Next up: Tim (AKA Teflon Tim)

Song: Sweet Love

Oh Tim, Tim, Tim!!!!

I'm really starting to feel sorry for him.

Even after a lesson on smoldering and swooning

from Usher,

the boy still manages to suck the swagger

right out of a great song.

But, he is adorable....

to me he looks like a mixture of

my two boys,

but like I tell them...

that pretty smile, great hair,

and sparkling baby blues

can only get you so far.

At some point you have to back that up

with talent.

As a side note,

I think there should be a drinking game

for every time Simon says

"Current or Contemporary",

but then everyone would be too drunk to vote

at the end of the show

so maybe that isn't a good idea.

*

Next up: Andrew

Song: Forever

Finally!!!!!!!!!!

Andrew delivers a straight up solid performance!!

I love this guys tone!

I disagree that he is boring.

I really think he gives off a

very cool, mellow vibe

that works for him.

*

Next up: Katie

Song: Chain of Fools

I just have to say that I am so sick

of hearing this song on AI!

It seems like we were bombarded with this tune

during auditions every year.

Enough already!!

Ok, rant over....

I did actually like this tonight.

I didn't love it,

but I don't think it was as bad as last week.

I do think she is in the top 2 or 3

when it comes to confidence on stage.

I do think that her dad is safe to

forego the barstool

and watch elimination night tomorrow.

It shouldn't be her leaving.

Christina???!! Really, Randy?

I have to disagree,

and we were so in synch tonight Dawg!

*

Next up: Lee

Song: Treat her Like A Lady

Lee is my favorite guy this season.

Love his voice,

love his backstory,

love his attitude,

love his hair,

love him!!!

I am going to go ahead and predict

that he is the last boy standing this season.

Hsi performance tonight was absolutely incredible!

I'm so glad that he is beginning to realize

how good he really is!

*

Next up: Crystal

Song: Midnight Train To Georgia

Crystal is my favorite girl this season.

She has so much incredible raw talent.

While not my favorite from her

I think she did really well

showing another side of herself tonight.

Her vocals were strong enough on their own,

so I agree with Simon

about the back up singers.

And bonus points for not falling on those heels!!

*

Next up: Aaron

Song: Ain't No Sunshine

He's definitely got a great voice,

but I wanted to love this performance

way more than I did.

I don't think he hit the

"I know, I know, I know......."

part like Usher coached him to

and like we were all waiting for.

I think Aaron's still a little raw,

but he could surprise us

over the next few weeks.

*

Phrase of the night:

"Gilding the lilly"....

What it means: A lilly was an ornamental decoration

which did not need further improvement or embellishment.

Gilding the lilly means to add to an already perfect thing.

Winner tonight: Lee

Bottom three:

DiDi

Siobhan

Tim

Going home:

Tim

Until next week....

peace out music fans!

***

Rock and Worship Road Show!

When I heard that this concert

was coming to our area

I knew we had to go.

That it fell so close to my birthday

was a bonus.

Because it was not a ticketed event,
we got their almost four hours early
to guarantee us a good seat.
It was rainy and cold,
but the concert was worth the wait!


We huddled up under umbrellas
and waited for the doors to open.



The bands in this tour were:
Sidewalk Prophets
Remedy Drive
Fee
Francesca Battiscelli
Family Force Five
The David Crowder Band
and
Mercy Me.


Each one was amazing
and sang lots of songs that
we loved.




Family Force Five was the most fun for us.
We discovered this band about four years ago
and have loved them ever since.
They are very high energy
and got us jumping around
and having a great time.




It was so fun to watch my kids
enjoy themselves so much!
Michael told me this morning
that he thought I had the best
birthday party ever!
He's right!
It was incredible!



God has been drawing me close
in very visible and tangible
ways these past few weeks.
One of the things I am realizing
is how very much he loves me.
I recently was messaging back and forth
with an old friend of mine.
I'm going to share here part of
what I wrote to her
because it decribes perfectly
what I am trying to say.
*
"I haven't seen Zach in 8 days,
but I cannot describe for you the
peace I feel that God is going to do a
great work in all of this.
That peace did not come during those
first few days.
I spent so much time crying and
literally groaning our prayers to God
because I could not find the words
or stop weeping long enough to say them.
I felt so helpless and afraid,
but through many people pointing out
scripture to me and telling me
their stories of how a teen
in their lives was restored,
I began to realize that maybe
all of this was happening
because God wanted to do a
work in ME.
Maybe it wasn't about Zach at all.
Maybe God was drawing me close
and letting me know how much he loved me
and how much he wanted me to
lean only on him
even in the darkest of circumstances.
Slowly I began to give up
my fear,
my worry,
my desire to control
and threw myself at his feet...
broken and bruised.
And you know what?
He picked me up and gave me joy again
in the faces of my other three kids
and in my husband.
He gave me nights of peaceful rest
and just calmed my spirit
beyond my comprehension.
I should not feel this way right?
I should be a wreck,
but God has given me peace and joy....
just like he promised!!"

*

How He Loves Us
by The David Crowder Band
has become my favorite
worship song.
The lyrics remind me
of how smitten God is with each of us.
This song is so brilliantly written
and speaks straight to my heart
like a personal love song
to me
from my creator.........


"He is jealous for me.
Loves like a hurricane,
I am a tree.
Bending beneath the weight of his wind
and mercy.
When all of a sudden,
I am unaware of these
afflictions eclipsed by glory
and I realize just how beautiful you are
and how great your affections are for me.
And oh,
how he loves us so
how he loves us
how he loves us all.
We are his portion and
he is our prize
drawn to redemption
by the grace in his eyes.
If grace is an ocean
we're all sinking!
And heaven meets earth
like an unforseen kiss
and my heart turns violently
inside of my chest
I don't have time to maintain
these regrets
when I think about
the way.....
He loves us!"

***

Click here to see
if the Rock and Worship Roadshow
is coming to your area.


***

The bubble gum wall

Seattle has alot of unique attractions,

but I don't think any of them are quite as unique

as this bubble gum wall at Pike Place Market.

We loaded up a bag of bubble gum and
went to visit this unusual place
and to leave our mark
this past weekend.


I couldn't help but notice the creativity that was displayed
by something as unappealing as a piece of chewed gum.
It was almost pretty in a way and definitely
an improvement on sticking your gum
underneath a restaurant table...
which seems to be the number two most popular place
to stick your gum in Seattle, according to Bren
who regularly checks and reports
whenever we are seated at a table.


While marveling at how so many pieces of gum had
come to congregate in one place,
it hit me.
This bubble gum wall is like life
or more specifically,
family life.
It is the equivalent of making lemonade out of lemons
and turning something mundane and undesirable
into a work of art that brings a smile
and draws people in.



The transparency of sticking all of your flaws out there
alongside the flaws of everyone else
is the true beauty.
It's accepting all the various colors
of used up, worn out, formally flavorful sticky wads
and creating a mosaic of imperfection
that ends up being strangely perfect.
A wall of flaws that is actually
very alluring
and quite a crowd pleaser!


Obviously I've stuck the chewed up pieces of my own
little family of six
squarely on the brick wall of life
and so many of you have reached out and
encouraged me by sticking your own
unsavory experience right beside mine
and together we made something
captivating
that opened my eyes to the beauty
in my undesirable and unwanted distress.



A couple dozen discarded pieces of gum would never
have been able to jump the gap
between the ordinary
and the extraordinary!
All of us have distasteful and even repulsive
things happen to us or by us,
but it's when we come together
in vulnerability and honesty
to comfort, enliven and inspire
that the real artistry
is emblazoned
on life's otherwise generic
red brick wall.

*

God speaks through my Toyota

All I can say is wow!

If I ever had a doubt that

God speaks very specifically

and directly to my situation,

I can lay them all to rest now.

I took Zach to work this morning

because he asked me to.

We drove in silence all the way there.

Once he exited the van,

I turned the radio to an AM talk station

that I haven't listened to in a while.

The first sentence I heard was

"Can you speak to the mom out there

who is dealing with the pain of watching

a child make bad choices."

Instant tears of pure gratitude

for the reassurance that God was

invested in the deepest parts of my life

began flowing down my face.

The program was tailored to my situation

so much so that one conversation

was about how to handle the guilt

that the enemy heaps on moms

whose children don't walk the

straight and narrow.

They addressed each area of my life.

Each one!!

Everything that I have been rehashing

over the last few days....

working full time during Zach's first year of life,

attempting homeschooling and failing,

moving away from family support,

and allowing anger and hurtful words

to rule seasons of my life.

The enemy has thrown each of these darts

at me over the past two days,

but God spoke truth to me today

through my Toyota Sienna stock radio!

The woman said that she had to learn

to take every thought captive.

To bring it down and wash it with the truth of God!

She said that she'd be doing the dishes and

a condeming thought would enter her mind

and she would have to stop right then

and quote truth.

She said that in the middle of her

hardest struggles with her children,

She wrote these words in the margin of her Bible

in the book of Psalms,

"Either I believe you are sovereign

or I'm going to go insane."

So if you were driving around town this morning

and you saw a woman weeping at the wheel

of a blue mini-van,

don't worry....

it was just her expression of complete and utter surrender

to her sovereign God

who was wrapping his arms around her

and holding her tightly!!

My great sorrow..................

So Zach packed a backpack yesterday and left.

The rules in our home have become too

constricting for him

and so he is trying life on his own.

He slept down the street at his friend's house

last night,

so I could close my eyes and know that he

was at least safe and warm.

I do not know if he will continue to sleep there

or if he will have to find shelter somewhere else.

Leaving was his choice

and he said it was the only choice he felt

was right for him.

He is in an independent study program

and cannot miss his Thursday meetings

or he will be dropped from the program.

I told him that I would drive him to the meeting

if he needed me to.

He called me last night and asked for that ride.

I was relieved that at least he is not

giving up on getting his high school diploma.

After the meeting he asked me to drive him

to a grocery store so that he could get

some food.

As we walked through the aisles

and he threw a bunch of junk food into the cart,

my eye caught a Buzz Lightyear cereal bowl set

on one of the shelves

and I wondered what happened to the little

blonde headed boy who

would run around the house

yelling, "to infinity and beyond!".

My heart is absolutely breaking,

and I am trying not to be consumed by

my great sorrow,

but I know I have to be strong and unwaivering

because I love him.

I know that his father and I have loved him well.

We have given him so many opportunites and support to turn his

struggles into triumphs.

Minutes ago I watched him

walk up the hill out of our neighborhood

in the cold rain

with a backpack full of food

and an extra change of clothes,

I can hardly breathe and the tears that I held in

all morning as we were together

are now a hot flood that I can no longer will away.

I want to call out to him to come back

to the safety of my arms,

but I know that this is his battle to fight.

These are his hard knocks to take

and learn from.

I am driven to my knees

pleading with God to protect him,

to keep him safe

and to draw Zach's heart back to his.

Zach knows that he is welcome back in our home

when he is willing to take responsibility for his actions

and be willing to submit to the rules we have in our home.

Right now he is not ready.

Right now he would rather

walk his own path,

and we have to let him.

This is the deepest sorrow

and the most gripping fear I have ever felt,

but I have to lean on something greater than myself.

I have to hold on to what I know.

If I am to make it through this,

I have to trust in the God who loves Zach

even more than I do.

Jeremiah 29:11 is my life verse

and I have had to hold strongly to it before,

but never as much as now.

I can only take my next breath

knowing that God has a plan

and that He will restore our family.

Jeremiah 29:11

"For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord.

Plans to prosper you and not to harm you.

Plans to give you a future and a hope."

Cardboard Condo

So I wrote a letter to a stuffed animal last night.

And not just me,

Daisy got letters from Brendell, David and Michael too.

My mom bought Brendell this bumble bee pillow pet

for Valentine's Day,

and Brendell named her Daisy.

She's been Brendell's constant pal ever since.

Yesterday, Brendell collected every box she could find in the house

and asked Michael if he would help her

make a home for Daisy.

They went up to Brendell's room

to construct Daisy's home

and came down thirty minutes later with this

cardboard condo minus the mailbox.

Brendell was so excited and proud

of what she and Michael had built.

Later she found a kleenex box in the cabinet

and the wheels in her mind started turning again.

Before I knew it,

she had unrolled a brand new roll of paper towels

to find the perfect mail box post.

She and Michael added it to the house

and then the real fun began.

Bren handed us all paper and pens and asked us
to write Daisy letters.
Daisy now has more mail than we do!
It is amazing how much fun a kid can have
with cardboard, tape and a little imagination!


When I was about Bren's age,
I remember my parents making me
an entire cardboard kitchen.
I had a stove and a refrigerator with doors
that really opened.
We drew burners on the stove top
with red marker.
I still remember that the words
"Becki's Kitchen"
were scrawled across the front of the fridge
in my kindergarten handwriting.
Funny how I remember that taped together kitchen
more than I remember any store bought toy.
Maybe it was the uniqueness of it
and the fact that it was made exactly how I wanted it,
or it could have been that I understood
the love that went into making it.
Whatever it was,
my cardboard kitchen created a lasting memory for me.

Bren has a room full of store bought toys,
but none of them have lit up her eyes
quite as much as this box house
that she made with her brother.

I'm thinking that the creating of it,
little 3 foot 10 bundle of smiles
alongside her patient big brother
putting their creative energy together
is what Brendell will remember
someday when she's a mommy.


She found two more boxes in her closet this morning.
I'm expecting a second story before dinner!

It's in the blood......

Here is something that I have been thinking about

for a little while now.

Bear with me while I set it up.

Iron is very important to the body.

Being a major component of hemoglobin,

it carries oxygen to all parts of the body.

Iron also assist in oxygen utilization

within cells in every part of the body.

Iron is a very good thing.

It is a much needed thing

and too little of it is harmful to the body.

But what happens if you have too much iron in your body?

My mom has a condition called

hemachromatosis.

Her body absorbs too much of a good thing.

If left untreated this extra iron would cause

her heart, liver and pancreas to fail.

The cure for hemachromatosis is phlembotomy

which is a fancy word for taking blood from the body.

Depending on the serverity,

a person with hemochromatosis

will give a pint of blood once or twice a week

for up to a year to try to get the ferritin levels in the blood

to the low side of normal.

Once the levels are controlled

a person goes on maintenance therapy

and typically gives a pint of blood every

2 to 4 months for life.

I can always tell when my mom

needs her blood drawn.

She sounds exhausted and worn out

and will sometimes tell me of a persistent pain

that she is having in a joint somewhere.

Both of these are usually the result of too much

iron build up.

Once she gives blood,

she's back to herself again.

So lately I have been thinking about the things

that I have let build up in my life.

Things that are seemingly good,

but that have begun to weigh me down and

are keeping me from my full potential.

Things that could eventually cause the failure

some important functions

that are necessary for a helathy lifestyle.

The first thing that comes to mind

is time management.

Part of my temperment is to

strive for the most fun out of life that

I can possibly get.

I'm spontaneous and adventurous.

I love anything that is fun and

brings laughter,

That's all good.

Enjoying life is important,

but too much indulgence in fun can begin to

create an unhealthy imbalance

(and dirty floors because

let me tell ya, floor mopping and laundry folding

is NOT fun or funny!).

I have had to learn (and am still learning) to give my pint of fun

every week so that my family can enjoy

a peaceful orderly home.

Another area that I thought about

was my desire to please.

Volunteering in too many places,

taking on too many responsibilities,

trying to be everything for everyone

can really begin to cause failure

in essential areas of my life.

Volunteering is great.

Social involvment is awesome,

but not when there is an imbalance

to the degree that family life suffers.

I have had to learn to give my pint of

"need to please" every week

so that I can have time to be the kind of mom

and wife that I want to be.

I am not a fan of needles at all.

I don't know if I would be as strong as my mom is

if I had to do what she does.

I know she is not a fan of needles either,

but I think she actually looks forward to

her phlebotomy because the trade off

is that she gets her energy back.

Although my personal pints aren't drawn with

a needle,

I too feel the relief that comes with making

good choices in life.....

which strangely enough is something my mom

taught me not only with her disease,

but with her life.

You are amazing mom,

and no matter how much blood they take from you,

I will always think that you are an

iron-woman!